Ok, so fresh off the back of explaining to the parent of one of our employees that ::poof:: means “I’ve gone” and isn’t anything to do with “trolling” (a whole other can of hacking little worms!), we’ve put our Saturday in the office with your iPad trade ins, old Kindles and used laptops to good use by compiling a list of random tech jargon and geek speak titbits (we’re in the U.K, meaning we think you can handle the “t” rather than covertly shuffling in a “d” like our U.S buddies!)
Some of them might seem a little elementary, but remember there was once a day when you too didn’t know what “pharming” was! How about we buy your old Kindle, and you direct any resident technophobes to this list?!

Virus: Malicious programme designed to damage data on your computer. Usually spread via infected email attachments.

Sexting: Voted the MOST ANNOYING geek phrase (and perhaps the least worthy prose on the planet), sexting is basically sending text messages that are SUGGESTIVE at the very least.

Trojan: A malicious piece of software disguised as a harmless one.

Hacktivist: Someone who hacks into/disrupts data as a form of activism.

Keylogging: Software or hardware designed to record the keystrokes you make in order to harvest passwords, bank numbers etc.

PWND: Internet gaming slanguage for “owned” i.e. “Beat you! Hahahaha! You LOOOOOOOOOSE!”

Pharming: Fraudulently redirecting customers from legitimate websites to fake versions.

WOOT: Expression of general joy and excitement, e.g. “Pizza rolls ready! WOOT! ::poof::”

Spyware: Sneaky programmes that monitor your web activity.
3G/4G: 3rd/4th Generation in wireless networking i.e. how fast data is transferred.

ZOMG: Originally a mistype where the person wanting to write OMG (oh my god) would frequently hit the Z on a QWERTY keyboard when typing quickly. Similar to the genesis of “teh” which is basically just “the” frequently typed too fast.

We like to keep our blog entries under 1337 words, so let’s leave it there. For more definitions head over to www.urbandictionary.com, especially if you’re in the mood for a long, idle afternoon of “Really?….. Oh, I think I’ve been using that wrong….”